By the way, do you have any clue what we were suppose to do with that gem.
I do, matter of fact. I am supposed to exchange it for a sack containing 1250 gold pieces and a scroll that says I am not guilty of all the trumped up charges that you and your father concocted.
"Oh, hey, Eileen's daddy. Why, you look more like Silvio Berlusconi every day. Must be the activities, eh?"
"And hello there, Eileen's companions. Acererak's son; wow, that must be a hoot."
Now, if you'll just hand over the reward and I'll hand over the gem. My palms are getting sweaty, I wonder what would happen if I drop it and it smashes? Maybe the souls will be released. I bet they'll be happy souls. "
"I think that if you dropped it and it smashes, that its a fake."
Swooping down to the ground, the brave adventurers are approached by the various judges who presided Ragr's insanely FAIR trial.
An elderly but very wealthy looking rich dude with near naked babes huddled around him like he is actually important, reaches out to hand you your earnings.
"Ah now young man, the gem for a pocket purse of gold and the writ you proclaim innocense of."
"Not so fast my fair weather friend. How do we know that is the real Soul Gem? It could be a forgery, after all Nimble Fingers Ragr is known far and wide for his thievery, is he not? I suggest that we examine the devise to make certain before giving him a token of our inmeasurable wealth. So says a middle-aged woman of questionable character who wears a cloak of disquise.
Suddenly a loud booming voice can be heard by all...................."Ahem, Attention please, everyone. This is your Dungeon Master speaking. Please retract the previous statement made by the midle-aged woman with the cloak of disquise. Ahem...she's actually a new villain and needs better DM representation than that....Jeez how I hate DMing on the fly. "
"Ok, Ok, I got my lines wrong, I'll try again, says the middle aged woman wearing the cloak of disquise. What I meant to say is...Why the burden of carrying such a token must be unbearable, please let the City of Greyhawk take it off your hands and place it in the city vault where we all know it will be safe." Wink, Wink, as she looks over at 2 lovely ladies far younger than herself.
"Oh, my name....ummm just a second."
(looks down at script in his hand...shoves it back in her cloak.)
"Why my name Agayabab. How do you do my dearies.....". Hack, hack, cough, cough, spittle, drool....You must be FAMISHED. Let's see what we have in the cooking pot today shall we." she says as she turns to the nearest seedy looking tavern she can. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
The plot may indeed thicken but, you know, I've got a mushroom potage on the go at home and it'll burn if I'm not there to tend it.
So; Farewell strange old man with babes. Nice to meet you, weird, Eastern European woman of dubious culinary expertise and, last but not least, later my prophet of choice.
Eileen: Terribly sorry, my new friends. Ragr suffers from an ill disposition. He forgot to take his medication today. As for your generous offer of dinner, well I can't accept until I have properly bathed from this past adventure.
Unknown Presumed Villain: "That's all right little girl, we now have the Soul Gem and plan to steal the souls of the most renown men and women of the Flaness. This way we can enslave the world."
Eileen: "Seriously, are you new to this whole I'm a villain thing, because if you are, I really think your going about it the wrong way."
Unknown Presumed Villain: ""Dont presume to tell me how to be a good villain young lady. I've been around since 1st edition and the legends of me go back to ancient Russian folklore."
Eileen:"I'm so sorry, I apologize then, I had no idea of your villain resume."
Eileen:We'll I'm off to get some new clothes and a hot bath with rose pedals. Please don't do anything that isn't lawful, else our paths may indeed cross again. And good luck with the whole villain gig and all." _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"Oh, well, that's quite a crowd gathering down there."
"Indeed. You have the merchandise?" Asked the somewhat taciturn, robed figure of his handsome and heroic Hobniz companion.
"Yes," the heroic Ragr replies. "And you'll forget all about that little attempt of mine to reveal your peccadillos as we agreed?"
"What attempt?" the goateed one replied.
"You know I'm still not sure about that look," Ragr pondered.
"The goods, please," the irked spell-slinger bellowed.
"Touchy, touchy," Ragr muttered handing over the recently acquired gem.
"Now, it's time for you to leave my flying carpet."
"You're landing first, right?" A slightly alarmed (but insouciant to the end) Ragr asks.
"Of course, what do you think this is, a budget flying carpet service?" The purveyor of minor magics bellowed.
"Burrow heights, please Captain". Ragr demands. The carpet soars majestically over the city and lands, somewhat erratically for Ragr's tastes, in The Heights.
"Now, kindly bugger off," the wizard suggests.
"Pleasure doing business with you," Ragr responds sarcastically. As there is no reply, Ragr can only assume that the Mage has taken his own advice.
"Hmmnnnn. Wonder what will happen when that mob find out they've been given a fake? What is that smell? BACON? Cousin Maudie you are a total mama." Ragr scurries off to cousin Maudie's burrow and partakes of bacony provender having completely forgotten about Soul Gems, Archmages, Dancing Huts, DMs and.....and.....what was her name again?
Wow, roleplaying approapriately (since the dealings apparently went on without me), I have to play the dumb blonde and act like I don't know. Party seperation issues are the worst.
Glad I'm not the DM. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"What now my little bacon sandwich eating Halfling?"
She leans over him with long blonde hair cascading downward around him.
"Don't get the food in my hair please, I just bathed. Now what is this nonsense about you giving away fake soul gems, or did you give away the real one and are now sitting on the fake one?"
How do you know that the soul gem in hte dungeon was even the real thing. Perhaps thieves put it there so long ago after stealing the real one. Or maybe the wizard who created that tower claimed there was a magic soul gem there, when really there wasn't. Think about it Ragr.....if you were a great wizard and had a soul gem to hide, would you put it in a dungeon way out in the open and then circulate a rumer that its there? Or maybe he used the sould gem story to lure others there for some other insidious reason. GET A GRIP!!!!!!! and chew your food before speaking. It's rude to talk with your mouthful." _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
How the heck am I supposed to know which is the real gem?
It's not my fault that everyone seems to be after it.
If it wasn't for all these "want, want, want," types that gem would still be tucked up nice and warm in Gallup Weevil's Ghastly Tower.
So to sum up; someone's got the real one. It could be me. It could be that Russian Bint. Or it could be that prestidigitator with the unlikely facial growth. Do I know? Do I care? Would I like another bacon sandwich? With extra mushrooms?
If you're that interested, Prophet, have a chat with that Mystic Scholar blokey. He's got to do something other than write pulp fiction all day long. Perhaps he can divine the real deal. Go to it then, my sweet.
How the heck am I supposed to know which is the real gem? It's not my fault that everyone seems to be after it.
"Oh I don't know, perhaps a DETECT MAGIC spell might help. No it isn't your fault, but flaunting it around to get the best price wasn't exactly part of the plan. Look, I've seen the future, our lives, this world, all the individauls we know, will someday become important enough that some guy with a grey beard and mustache to go to his basement and make a game based on our adventures. As for that soul gem, it will one day appear in a great tome called the Dungeon Master's Guide. If you don't get it back, our sacred history will be tainted and I won't make it past Pilgrim and you'll be a Ruffian. So really, is that the way you want to be remembered?
Ragr wrote:
If you're that interested, Prophet, have a chat with that Mystic Scholar blokey. He's got to do something other than write pulp fiction all day long. Perhaps he can divine the real deal. Go to it then, my sweet.
If there is any Divinations to be made it will be by me.....However, his name is also Scholar and for that reason I shall.
Ragr wrote:
(Munch, munch)
And chew with you mouthfull.
(Puts pet leash around Ragr, and parades him over to Mystic Scholar's place. Uncertain were he lives, she stops the nearest carriage ride and climbs in. "To Mystic Scholar's place please." _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Last edited by EileenProphetofIstus on Sun May 01, 2011 6:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
Ah, a Soul Gem is involved and Ragr seems to have confused them and no one noticed? What happend? I see.
Well, without the proper scrying technique, it was possible for you to have confused the two gems -- or was it three? Whatever.
I truly doubt that the "Russian Bint" who served as your airline captain could have scried the gem properly while piloting his ensorcelled carpet. Especially with air traffic control being what it is over Greyhawk.
Anyway, a quick method for you to determine whether or not "your's" is the true Soul Gem is to sleep with it under your pillow at night. If you start having strange dreams, or hear voices during the night, then congratulations, your's is quite probably the real gem!
Sadly, I don't think possession of the real Soul Gem is going to improve the taste of your bacon and mushroom sandwichs. But, I'm sure you'll figure out a way to use it to your advantage.
Or a way to get yourself and the Prophet into more trouble, which is more likely. Mwahahahaha!
Huh? What? Detect magic? Yes, well, you halflings are usually looking for the easy way out.
Would you like me to cast the spell Prophet?
If so, do you really want to know the truth?
And by the way, Ragr, your lawyers over at Shuttlecock and Wing Tip Curlytoes are about to reach an agreement with me concerning your appearence in my "pulp fiction" writings. Something about pig and mushroom farming over near Dyvers. Bacon and mushroom sandwichs for life! What a deal, eh?
Feel free to cast what you will seer....but do not undermine Istus' word nor that of her Prophet.
In other words, you might as well cause the little guy is more likely to believe you over me...which is completely weird because I worship the Goddess of Truth, we are sworn not to lie....
Ragr...your shoelace is untied....
Just kidding! _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Wow! Put a leash on me? Whatever floats yer boat there, Prophet
And don't worry, Mystic Pizza (mine's a bacon and mushroom rather unsurprisingly), ignore all that ning nang noo about truth and honesty (barf!) and just let me know which is the real gem. Then, finally, I can get shot of all these high-ups (they say) trying to winkle me into some quest or other.
As it seems that my solicitors are doing a fine job of negotiating to be a part of your scribblings I just want to say that I accept the offer of a pig and mushroom farm but is it possible for it to be somewhere other than Dyvers? No good ever came from letting a woman take charge (excepting Cousin Maudie, of course, but then she was in the kitchen) and that Hunter girl sounds like a right one. Woman, that is. A further clause needs to be inserted in said contract (to avoid me having to insert something sharper somewhere later) namely, I get the rights to choose who plays me in the TV adaptation of "That Infamous Key" or any spin off called, you know, "Ragr", or something.
So then, Mystic Meg, is this the real deal?The main event?
Oh, by the way, if you shake it you can hear this;
Comin' to ya on a dusty road
Good lovin' I got a wagon load
And when you get it you got something
So don't worry cause I'm coming
I'm a soul gem
I'm a soul gem
I'm a soul gem
I'm a soul gem
Got what I got the hard way
And I'll make it better each and every day
So Mordy don't you fret
Cause you ain't seen nothing yet
I'm a soul gem
I'm a soul gem
Play it Mystic!
I'm a soul gem
I'm a soul gem
Not sure if that helps with the Detecting.
CAN'T STOP DANCING! CHOKING ON LEASH!
(As a sidenote, Prophet. You don't have to worry about a guy with a beard designing some sort of game. What sort of sad, sorry, pathetic bunch of Nobby No-Mates are going to want to play a game designed by a bloke with a grey beard?)
And you once complained about my singing. Sigh! You sound like a trogldyte with a soar throat.
Well Mystic One, what are you determinations and how much are you going to fleece Ragr for first?
Lead us to our next great adventure so we don't get stale for at least another year or two. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Should I offer congratulations or condolences? It would appear that our halfling friend is still in possession of the real gem!
You should know that I have been encountering some "resistence" during my scrying. I'm uncertain as to "where," or from "who" this resistence is coming from, but a name -- I think it's a name -- keeps coming to my mind . . . Pluffet Smedger the Elder. Do you know, or have you heard of such a person? And there is also a feeling of "when" as well. Prophetess, have you been dealing in Chronomancy again? Serving the Goddess that you do, you should know better!
Anyway, you'll have to determine if this information is good news, or bad. Will someone be coming after you two? Ragr, you didn't "sell" someone a false gem, did you? Anyone seeking to acquire such a gem would both, know what it was and have the power to use it. Such people are not to be triffled with my halfling friend -- bacon and mushroom sandwiches not withstanding.
I'm pretty sure that Eileen has cast a Contingency spell upon herself -- she is an intelligent woman -- but are you similarly protected? Being the Scoundrel, err, I mean "Rogue" that you are, I'm not so sure.
Prophetess, the "Russian Bint" -- is he the same as the Carpet Pilot, I forget -- doesn't have the real gem. Was he supposed to be the client? In any case, I don't suppose that he's going to wait all that long a time to determine the gem's authenticity, so . . . _________________ Mystic's web page: http://melkot.com/mysticscholar/index.html
Mystic's blog page: http://mysticscholar.blogspot.com/
Prophetess, the "Russian Bint" -- is he the same as the Carpet Pilot, I forget -- doesn't have the real gem. Was he supposed to be the client? In any case, I don't suppose that he's going to wait all that long a time to determine the gem's authenticity, so . . .
Ragr chose to avoid the Russian Bint and deciding not to sell it to her. Personally I think that the idea of selling a rare artifact to the highest bidder is a mistake. I say we find away to free the souls inside the gem
So how do we do that Mr. Mystic Scholar?
Pluffet Smedger the Elder: If memory serve correctly, isn't he an author of some kind who litterally put Greyhawk on the map? _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
As a lifelong member of the eternal optimist society I can safely say that "we don't need no stinking contingency badges.
Okay, I have a really simple plan to sort out this unholy mess the prophet has got us into.
We arrange a meeting with the Russian Bird, the old dude with the "hubba, hubba babes" and the silly bearded spell chucker. We then simply admit to having been under the influence of a confusion effect picked up in the Gloaming Tower of Sordid Dreams and hand over all the pretty baubles that look like soul gems; I've got about six left, how 'bout you, prophet?
Then we make our apologies and leave. After all I'm still 5th level and first edition and in no way fit to be messing around with these sorts of npcs who may be souped up, 4th edition and harder than a very hard thing indeed. There you go. You sort it out and thank you very much.
Ragr and his prophet sidekick have left the building.
We can then go back to doing something less dangerous and more profitable. Preferably involving beer, bacon, birds and mushrooms. Not necessarily in that order. (what a pizza that would be)
Well, actually, I put mine back. I felt guilty over taking things that didn't belong to me, so my share of the treasure is still in the Tower of Ghostly Spooks.
But hey if you want to give to charity for those fine folks, I'm all for it. Although my faith binds me to always tell the truth, I am capable of exageration now and then. I say just give it to Mystic Scholar and lets move on.
Pizza sounds good. Lets go have some. All this conversation is making me hungry anyway. But really, we got to find something to occupy our time with, a worthy cause...like...like....Castle Greyhawk? _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"I don't do death, that's Wee Jas' job, and maybe Nerulls once in a while. Ready for the great news?"
"My parents have a mansion overlooking Zagyg Bridge, we can stop and say hi along the way. They will feed you, mom always said the best way to keep a halfling is to give him food."
Pulls out magical texting flute......plays a short ditty....
"Hi mom, Ragr and I are on our way to Castle Greyhawk, he's hungry AGAIN....you mind feeding him? He gets dizzy and faints if he doesn't eat every 4 hours or so. We will be there soon."
"Well let's get going....are you leaving your multiple soul gems here with Mystic Scholar or are you going to keep them and endanger our lives even more?"
"Greyhawk Castle here we come
To the deepest level that we can
Your dungeons dark and dusty
A most dangerous tomb
Filled with ancient old secrets
That about to meet their doom
We've got nothing better but to pluder and explore
For Castle Greyhawk will soon be no more"
"Race Ya" _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"This Hobniz ain't for keeping,
If you try it you'll be........
.............................weeping"
I'm a poet, don't ya know it?
Ah! Another string to the talent bow that is.....Ragr the awesome.
The magnificent.
The undefeated.
The........bleedin' hungry again if you must know.
I'll be taking those gems with us as it seems my quite brilliant plan above is being completely ignored. One day you'll regret not listening to me, prophet.
Zagig's Bridge! Wow!
I remember reading some ridiculous book once.
In it a band of 8 Orc "Raiders", all ftr1/rog3 (kindly explain to me in a rational way how that happened and how it happened to all of them the same) attacked a party crossing said construction. Now, all of those "raiders" casually tossed away a +1 throwing axe at this group of heroes (like, where did they come from? The +1 store must have had a buy one get one free sale on that week) before pulling out a further masterwork axe. Each. Then two more. Each. Oh, and apparently they must have had a similar sale at the potion brewer mart because they also each had 2 potions of CMW. Each. And all this whilst some bloke chucks fireballs like they're going out of fashion. And he's mounted on a Wyvern. With a Ride score of +1.
After the fight I can see that bunch of adventurers going "8 +1 axes you say. 24 masterwork axes? Sorry Mr Damaris you'll just have to stay on the deck. We're far to rich to trouble ourselves with you."
Total madness. Natch, I read no further. First 35 pages promised so much. Decent map, though.
It's enough to make you change game systems.
Anyway I digress, which is most unlike me.
I heartily concur with your new battle song, prophet, exept to add to the second line a caveat; "when we're high enough level".
"I'll be taking those gems with us as it seems my quite brilliant plan above is being completely ignored. One day you'll regret not listening to me, prophet.
Maybe I'm having a blonde moment.....what plan?? I honestly couldn't figure out what you were trying to do, I wasn't ignoring it, I was simply not aware of it.
Quote:
Zagig's Bridge! Wow!
Yes, and don't lean over the edge, there is enough pollution in the Selitan to last through 5th edition.
And now I'm completely lost on this thread.............. :?
What in my deceased, Great Aunt Mary twice removed are we going to do next?
This thread got lost before it even started. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Hey! (cough, cough) What have the two of you gotten me into!?
I was just closing a tome on Divination when I was suddenly confronted by the sight of a flying carpet hovering outside my window -- some five stories above the ground.
Some wizened old coot seemed to be piloting the thing -- air traffic control has gone to the Nine Hells in this city -- and a woman, that could only be your "Russian bint," was with him. She held some type of rod in her hand and it was pointed at me. I found myself suddenly hit with an Imprisonment spell!
Fortunately, I have long since prepared for such unforeseen occurrences and managed to escape the underground prison to which I was sent. It still took some time, however, and thus I was held incommunicado for a time and so was unable to "warn" the two of you sooner.
I am working on the assumption that "someone" is obviously unhappy with the fact that "our" halfling friend still has the true Soul Gem! I believe the two of you are about to be confronted with quite the little conundrum. But now you are forewarned!
As for me, I'm taking certain measures to insure that your dissatisfied "friends" cannot catch me off-guard again. I'd advise you two to take precautions as well -- I do not doubt that they are looking for you and will not be happy when they find you.
Maybe I'm having a blonde moment.....what plan?? I honestly couldn't figure out what you were trying to do, I wasn't ignoring it, I was simply not aware of it.
Don't worry about it my far seeing lovely, we all know that no plan survives initial contact with the enema.......or, something.
Yo, Eileens! (Bangs on door of prohet's family's gaff).
Lock up your larder and get the kettle on and I'll tell you all a story of the prophet, the Diviner and the missing gem stones. By this time our Mystic chum should have fended off the attentions of our pursuers (fan club)and got back to what he does best, namely, rattling off bloody good yarns that STILL lack a handsome Hobniz.
Stop dawdling Mrs Eileen, and break out the biccies, I'm tired after all that tramping along; we all know Hobniz only go for long walks when they've got to get rid of unwanted jewellery.
Aaaaaah!!!!Earl grey. You are a beaut, Mrs Eileeen. And, may I say, mighty fine looking as well. If I were 50 years older and 3 feet taller.......
So; Castle Greyhawk? What's in it for me?
And it better not involve Demi-Gods, monsters with inappropriate character classes and anti-heroes looking for redemption. And, I absolutely DO NOT DO battlemaps!
Lock up your larder and get the kettle on and I'll tell you all a story of the prophet, the Diviner and the missing gem stones. By this time our Mystic chum should have fended off the attentions of our pursuers (fan club)and got back to what he does best, namely, rattling off bloody good yarns that STILL lack a handsome Hobniz.
Ugghhh, these cute halfling phrases that no-one can understand, sound just like Thieves Cant to me. "Lock up your larder and get the kettle on" what the bloom dasies of the Flanaess does that mean?
Stop dawdling Mrs Eileen, and break out the biccies, I'm tired after all that tramping along; we all know Hobniz only go for long walks when they've got to get rid of unwanted jewellery.
Again, that halfling riff raff language of yours. "Stop dawdling Mrs Eileen, and break out the biccies" what in an orc's tooth ache does that mean and since when did I get married, I don't see a ring on this finger do you?
Aaaaaah!!!!Earl grey. You are a beaut, Mrs Eileeen. And, may I say, mighty fine looking as well. If I were 50 years older and 3 feet taller.......
Once again that foreign jibber jabber of yours. Who's Earl Gray and again no ring, see (gives Ragr the finger). Opps sorry, I meant this one. No wedding band there either. Fifty years older, how old do you take me for, I'm a young lady, not some middle aged bag.
So; Castle Greyhawk? What's in it for me?
You, well, fame, noterighty, wealth, gems the size of your hand, oh, and probably some awesome bard ditties.
And it better not involve Demi-Gods, monsters with inappropriate character classes and anti-heroes looking for redemption. And, I absolutely DO NOT DO battlemaps! [/quote]
Are we going through the 1st version or the Return to version? AND I LOVE BATTLEMAPS AND MINITURES, SO THERE. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
As I keep reminding you prophet, I'm all written down on a yellow character sheet that's more than a little frazzled round the edges.
Now, if I start marching through some 3.5 version of Castle Greyhawk I'm liable to have my cute lil' rear handed to me on a plate............Mmmnn, plate.......food...........Mrs Eileen? NOT YOU Prophet! Mrs Eileen senior. Yes, I'll gladly have another slice of strawberry tart.
Aah! Now, Castle Greyhawk. It simply has to be the first edition or I'll be deader than a Pholtan stripper at the Trithereon new year's party.
And, if you mention miniatures again I'll be checking in with my representatives to see if you've broken some kind of discrimination act.
So, First edition. No minis. No battlemaps. One more slice of cake. And awaaaayyyy we go!
Here I am, accosted by your disgruntled business associates, locked in an underground prison, trying desperately to escape so that I can warn the two of you and how do you respond?
You sit down to tea and crumpets and calmly plan your next adventure! Hmmph! I wouldn't be surprised if those two -- and whatever henchmen they may have -- are waiting for you somewhere in the Castle. It would serve you right!
Well, good luck. Keep your heads down and stay alert. (The world needs more lerts )
Well, I admit this is the most "adventure" I've had in awhile. Having spent the last fifteen years in this tower has made me a bit "rusty," I suppose.
Haven't had a familiar for some time, nothing but these musty, dusty old tomes to keep me company. (My last apprentice was a bit of a pain in the rumpus, if you take my meaning. So I've been hesitant to take on another one. Age has made me less patient with the young.)
But don't you go thinking that I'm THAT old! I'll you know that I can still put up quite a scrap, young lady! Just haven't had much call for it lately. Most folks seek me out for scholarly pursuits, like you and your halfling friend did.
If you think I'm having my style cramped by having to push around some dribbling old coot in a bathchair around the dungeon you've got another thing coming.
What about the sneaking? The cut and thrust of glorious swordplay? He'll have a heart attack. And we'll have to sneak him out the backdoor of that tower (retirement home) without alerting matron. And get him back in afterwards, if he survives.
On the other hand; he's probably too old to remember about equal shares of loot; he could also bore some opponents to death telling old war stories; and, if it's totally necessary, we could arm him with a lance and give him a hefty shove towards the enemy; we could put scythes on his wheels.
If you think I'm having my style cramped by having to push around some dribbling old coot in a bathchair around the dungeon you've got another thing coming.
What about the sneaking? The cut and thrust of glorious swordplay? He'll have a heart attack. And we'll have to sneak him out the backdoor of that tower (retirement home) without alerting matron. And get him back in afterwards, if he survives.
On the other hand; he's probably too old to remember about equal shares of loot; he could also bore some opponents to death telling old war stories; and, if it's totally necessary, we could arm him with a lance and give him a hefty shove towards the enemy; we could put scythes on his wheels.
Hmnnn.
What is a party to do?
I figure if we meet something really nasty, all we have to do is out run him, something I think your even capable of. Well, I'm all packed and ready to go. Here, carry this.......Hands a bunch of pink and purple umbrellas to Ragr. Let's go play in the castle for awhile. If Mystic man wants to join us he knows the way. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Why you little sawed-off, midget of a blow hard! How would you like to BE the mushroom on the next bacon & mushroom sandwich!? Or maybe something else just as unnatural?
And I'll have you know that my tower IS NOT a "retirement home!" Nor any other type of gathering place for old people! Of all the nerve! The impudence! The audacity!
Sneaking? What would a halfling know of sneaking? Why, have you ever even heard of an Invisibility spell? How about coupling it with a Silence spell with a fifteen foot radius?
Guards and monsters you say? Bah! Hum bug! Power Word Sleep will fix them good and proper. After that, anyone can walk up and cut their throats. Speaking as though you have special abilities! Pshaw!
Why you little sawed-off, midget of a blow hard! How would you like to BE the mushroom on the next bacon & mushroom sandwich!? Or maybe something else just as unnatural?
And I'll have you know that my tower IS NOT a "retirement home!" Nor any other type of gathering place for old people! Of all the nerve! The impudence! The audacity!
Sneaking? What would a halfling know of sneaking? Why, have you ever even heard of an Invisibility spell? How about coupling it with a Silence spell with a fifteen foot radius?
Guards and monsters you say? Bah! Hum bug! Power Word Sleep will fix them good and proper. After that, anyone can walk up and cut their throats. Speaking as though you have special abilities! Pshaw!
Prophetess, how have you put up with this "munchkin" for all these years?
Shrugs, he keeps bugging me for a date. I'm holding out cause I know I can do better.
Sometime size matters! Or so I've heard.
Well were off then, now the DM has to dig out a module he's never run before. Just curious, have either of you two been though this module? _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Why you little sawed-off, midget of a blow hard! How would you like to BE the mushroom on the next bacon & mushroom sandwich!? Or maybe something else just as unnatural?
And I'll have you know that my tower IS NOT a "retirement home!" Nor any other type of gathering place for old people! Of all the nerve! The impudence! The audacity!
Sneaking? What would a halfling know of sneaking? Why, have you ever even heard of an Invisibility spell? How about coupling it with a Silence spell with a fifteen foot radius?
Guards and monsters you say? Bah! Hum bug! Power Word Sleep will fix them good and proper. After that, anyone can walk up and cut their throats. Speaking as though you have special abilities! Pshaw!
Prophetess, how have you put up with this "munchkin" for all these years?
Gettin' kinda tense aintcha?
Here, stop all that spluttering, cop hold of these umbrellas and try to keep up with the youngfolk.
Wha . . .? Umbrellas? Pink and Purple umbrellas? What in the name of the Nine Hells does she do with these things?
*Grumbles, picks up the umbrellas and shrugs*
Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. But is there still any treasure left worth having in the upper levels of the Castle? The place has been pretty well picked clean over the years, you know?
"Module?" What is a "module?" This "DM" person you speak of, he/she has something called a "module?" And how do you "go through" this "module" thing? Hmm, this should prove interesting after all.
*Begins walking next to Ragr*
You mean one of these "module" thingies went through you, instead of you through it? Fascinating! How did that go, by the way? And what's this about a "war wagon?" Was this in the Great Kingdom?" Tell me everything!
Wha . . .? Umbrellas? Pink and Purple umbrellas? What in the name of the Nine Hells does she do with these things?
*Grumbles, picks up the umbrellas and shrugs*
Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. But is there still any treasure left worth having in the upper levels of the Castle? The place has been pretty well picked clean over the years, you know?
"Module?" What is a "module?" This "DM" person you speak of, he/she has something called a "module?" And how do you "go through" this "module" thing? Hmm, this should prove interesting after all.
*Begins walking next to Ragr*
You mean one of these "module" thingies went through you, instead of you through it? Fascinating! How did that go, by the way? And what's this about a "war wagon?" Was this in the Great Kingdom?" Tell me everything!
*Rubs his hands together enthusiastically*
You can only come with if you speak the secret password. If you get it wrong we will assume your a mindles NPC. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Ah, my Mystic friend, it was a dream I once had where I was wearing someone else's skin; a great looming lummox of a man I was in the dream.
The dwarves charged an entry fee to get in the dungeon and then, in the first room mind, I happened to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time and got well and truly flattened by a war wagon pulled by skeletal horses and ridden by skeletal cowboys.
But I'm pretty sure it wasn't an omen of things to come for us. We're experienced adventurers, we're a little bit woah!, a little bit waaay! and a lot "that's going to hurt in the morning, old son".
Ah, my Mystic friend, it was a dream I once had where I was wearing someone else's skin; a great looming lummox of a man I was in the dream.
The dwarves charged an entry fee to get in the dungeon and then, in the first room mind, I happened to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time and got well and truly flattened by a war wagon pulled by skeletal horses and ridden by skeletal cowboys.
But I'm pretty sure it wasn't an omen of things to come for us. We're experienced adventurers, we're a little bit woah!, a little bit waaay! and a lot "that's going to hurt in the morning, old son".
And we have a password.
WE HAVE A PASSWORD?????????
Uhhh.....Yea. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
WELL DON'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS.........YOU'RE KILLING ME.
Ummm......All hail Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods. May she guide us through these dark days and evil nights. For now is the time of judgments of the wrath of the Gods.
May her beauty be everlasting, may her widsom reach all corners of Oerth, and may she she never break a nail.
YOUR PLAYING IN MY SANDBOX NOW.
Time to go find that module.
FOUND IT _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
The Coldeven spring breeze cooled the face of the 3 brave adventurers about to embark on a epic quest to Castle Greyhawk. The morning dew glistened as the sun began to rise above the tree tops. The birds chirped and flitted about the pathway leading to the three towers, the upper remains of Castle Greyhawk. Arriving at the peak of the hill, the adventurers stopped and looked down the path they were about to follow. In the distance were the remains of three towers which rest upon three rock pinnacles. The two smaller towers were once the War Tower, the other The Tower of Magic, or more commonly known as the Power Tower. Nesteled between these two ruins was the greatest of the structures, The Tower of Zagig. This tower is connected to the lesser two via stone arches stretching across crevasses.
The Tower of Magic/Power On the west pinnacle lies the Tower of Power; the home to Zagig's many clerics and wizard apprentices.
The Tower of Zagig The center tower stood upon the highest pinnacle has a wall buillt around it. It is this structure that Zagig performed his many strange experiments and personal creations. Meant for his enjoyment and work, they also reflect the growing madness that undertook the great mage in his later years. A great chasm lies directly in front of the tower with a large stone archway bridge leeding it.
The Tower of War The eastern tower is rumered to be the home of Zagig's vast aresenal of weapons and to house his own personal army. It's greatest depths are said to reveal a corridor of invading hordes of foul underworlders.
Rumors Rumors of Castle Greyhawk are rappant in the City of Greyhawk, as they have been for centuries. There are exactly 20 rumors and rather than list all of them they have been incorporated into the encounter of THE FALCON. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
We'll never get Mystic over the arched bridge so that rules out the Tower of Zagyg.
The Tower of War? Hmmm!
War, huh yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, oh hoh, oh
War huh yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it again y'all
War, huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
Oh, war, I despise
'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tear to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go off to fight and lose their lives
I said
War, huh good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, just say it again
War whoa Lord
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
War, it ain't nothin' but a heartbreaker
War, friend only to the undertaker
Oh war, is an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest within the younger generation
Induction, then destruction who wants to die
Oh dear! That hasn't had a very good press, has it?
Regretfully my little friend, as you can see, we have to pass the chasm over to the Power of Zagig, then pass the chasm to the other two towers, there is no path from here to the side towers.
However, I am well prepared for such a siutation.
THUD
(Unrolls her carpet of flying)
Who's riding shotgun? _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
I hope you're a better pilot than that Mordy bloke with the silly beard.
So, is this business class? What's the in-flight film? And when's the food arrive? I'll have a glass of champers, stewardess.
STEWARDESS?
What's a nicely over made up girl like you doing on a rug like this?
Whoaaaahhh!!!!!
Some warning about the turbulence would have been nice, pilot/prophet.
What? I knew it was coming. Oh I forget, you can't see the future.
Attention please, this is your Prophet speaking. If you look to your right, you will see a very deep chasm that is approximently 400 feet deep. This bridge we are flying over causes great dread to those not use to crossing it. I'm told that novices to the bridgeare required to make a saving throw just to be brave enough to cross it. Naturally, we don't need to make such a save since were flying on a carpet. The bridge extends for 350 feet before arriving at the Tower of Zagig.
Please fasten your seat belts folks as we are preparing for out landing. And once again thank you for flying Istus Ariels and we welcome you to fly with us upon your return trip.
Landing Gear.....failing............. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
As the magical carpet's landing gear struggles, it begins losing altitude. A gust of wind surges from underneath, lifting the carpet for but a moment and tipping it on its side.
The occupants have extreme difficulty retaining their balance upon the rug as they slide towards the dipping end only to find themselves hanging over the edge, feet dangling 400 above the chasm. Grasping the tasseled edges of the magical carpet they hang on for dear life.
On the farside of the bridge, standing in front of the Tower of Zagig are a clan of 12 ogres. Though prepared for war, they quickly set their weapons down and begin laughing their backend off at the incompentent 0 zero level characters. The ogres begin to flap their arms up and down, cheering the adventurers on, mocking them as their impending doom is about to befall them. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Well, by all means let's add insult to injury; and it'll help clean them up after my unfortunate accident. Prophet, hold this flying disaster zone steady, me and the Mystic gotta go.
Ugghhh.........of all the men in Greyhawk I have to pick the only ones that like to go wee wee in the wind. Seriously, if I have a carpet stain you two are going to clean it.
And so the carpet flies right into the center of the ogres, STRIKE..... and all the ogres fall down.
Ten little ogres waiting on the edge
One fell over and plummeted to his death
Nine little ogres, all getting up fine
One was drunk and fell asleep with his wine
Eight little ogres all standing proud
One was bored so he left the crowd
Seven little ogres scratching their backs
One tripped and fell on his ax
Six little ogres didn't know what to do
One was captured and put in the Greyhawk zoo
Five little ogres all standing in a row
One turned around and then there were four
Three little ogres is all that stands
One pulled out his drum and started a band
Two little ogres playing craps
One laid down and took a nap
One little ogre standing with a sword
The orphanage came and he left with the ward _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
So, the Ogres are down, the gate's unguarded and the Prophet becomes a Bard. Tell me this isn't going to be the funny version of Castle Greyhawk. Cos it weren't.
Funny that is.
Technically it was still Castle Greyhawk.
Ragr leaps from the flying carpet, poses for 5 seconds hands on hips on the body of a fallen Ogre, and then bowls towards the castle door.
(Furtively he makes a call on his mobile device; "Mystic's place is empty. Go! Go! Go!")
BTW, Prophet, "row" and "four" was a bit of a stretch. Unless it was a Treme style "fo".
My bad, yes it is the real Castle Greyhawk, I can take a more serious tone to it if you would like. Might be the only time we get to experience it. What do you think? _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
We just crashed into a horde of Ogres and Ragr 'the Halfwit' is taking time to pose for a picture!
And you think we're not being serious?
Wow!
Oh, uh, you do have a stain on your carpet. Sorry!
Yes there is a stain, right there. (Points down to where Mystic Scholar was standing).
Pulls out a can of woolite and hands it to him.
"For your sake you had better hope it comes out. Else you no ride carpet again."
I wasn't sure exactly what Ragr was getting at, other than he didn't want the joke Castle Greyhawk, which this isn't, but I started playing it just like the previous adventure (Ghost tower of Inverness), We'll see what he has to say when he posts. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
The landing gear finally opens, but only after we reach the ground. You are staring at the remains of Zagig's Tower. Before you was once a domed magestic tower, now reduced to piles of rubble. Bones of various sorts of creatures are strewn about, cracking as you step along. Through the entrance you can see what was the ogres lair. In the center of the ogre lair is a set of stone steps which disappear into the darkness below.
To your left is a wide stone bridge crossing over to the Tower of Power and to your right is another stretching to the Tower of War. Both walkways appear to be safe and are wide enough to be of little concern.
So, you can explore the Tower of Zagig, the Tower of Power, the Tower of War, or you can run home like little boys who wet their pants or you can go back to town and eat, it's almost lunch time. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
As you walk across the great gorge, admist you stan the remains of the Tower of Power. A vast wall remains somewhat in tact and prevents you from seeing inward. As you step over the stone rubble before you and peek into the vast chamber beyond the castle wall, you see:
P101: A two-level wooden platform rests atop two stone entrance walls. Two elves arm each of the ballistae and nine others elven archers man the patrapets.
As you approach, the begin to warn you by nocking an arrow and pulling the bow string back halfway.
"Yield strangers and speaketh where thou art go?"
"Yes speaketh now or forever hold your tongue." Another elf chimes in.
"Do thine wish to seek treasures of the ancients or simply use the bathroom?" the orignal elf asks. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"Speaking only for myself, of course, I wish only to use the bathroom!"
(Smiles charmingly at the elf.)
"Of course, if you should have an odd tome -- or two -- just lying around, well, I'd be happy to relieve you of their cumbersome burden."
(Places hand over heart and bows courteously.)
"The same can be said regarding any 'Rings of Power,' 'Staves of the Magi,' 'Orbs of Seeing, or Dragon-kind,' or even miscellaneous bags of jewels. Why, just any little trinket you might not want or need any more, my friends and I will be happy to relieve you from the burden of caring for them any longer."
(Smiles broadly.)
*My left hand rests upon my Staff, while my right hand hangs by my side, clasping the Wand of Fire that has slipped down from a pocket within my sleeve*
*I turn to my right and nod at Eileen, then look to my left at . . . Damn! He's eating a bacon and mushroom sandwich at a time like this! Where the hell does he keep those things? * _________________ Mystic's web page: http://melkot.com/mysticscholar/index.html
Mystic's blog page: http://mysticscholar.blogspot.com/
[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"Speaking only for myself, of course, I wish only to use the bathroom!" [quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"
What? Again? You only went a while ago.
[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]""Of course, if you should have an odd tome -- or two -- just lying around, well, I'd be happy to relieve you of their cumbersome burden." [quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"
Oh, come on, be serious. Everybody knows you keep a copy of "Fearie Frolics Monthly" folded inside that Chronicle Of Secret Times.
[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"
(Places hand over heart and bows courteously.)
"The same can be said regarding any 'Rings of Power,' 'Staves of the Magi,' 'Orbs of Seeing, or Dragon-kind,' or even miscellaneous bags of jewels. Why, just any little trinket you might not want or need any more, my friends and I will be happy to relieve you from the burden of caring for them any longer."
(Smiles broadly.)[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"
Ah, it seems exposure to your friendly, loving Hobniz has drawn you to the darker side my Mystic comrade. So it is written, so it shall be done; "rob them blind and never give a sucker an even break."
[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"*My left hand rests upon my Staff, while my right hand hangs by my side, clasping the Wand of Fire that has slipped down from a pocket within my sleeve*.)[quote="Mystic-Scholar"]"
So this is what it's like to be 4e? I shall rest my left hand upon my hip and my right upon my small knife for peeling fruit; I'm all about character not items.
Mystic-Scholar wrote:
"**I turn to my right and nod at Eileen, then look to my left at . . . Damn! He's eating a bacon and mushroom sandwich at a time like this! Where the hell does he keep those things? *
Mort's just reminded me it's Richfest and I must do my duty as a jolly Hobniz and indulge myself uproariously over the next week in "entertainments and merrymaking" as well as "many breaks for food and drink". I've only one magic item and that be a Pouch Of Holding (sandwiches)
Something's gone horribly wrong with this post and I'm just too hungry to fix it.
"Dearest Adventurers, you have come to the right place. We have every trinket and bobble you could ever desire. See our displays throughout the chamber and those attached as well. Any one of my customer service elves are here to help.
Here perhaps you will fancy this.
(removes a 12" action figure of Mordenkainen) Now this little guy is great for your children. His head turns, arms and legs bend, even at his waist. He comes with a great staff, and as you can see, his hair is removable.
Now over here, we have a skull with gems, an exact replica of Acereak the Demi lich from the Tomb of Horrors. The starter set comes with 4 adventurers and three dungeon rooms, you can buy all sorts of accessories as well, such as treasure piles, additional rooms, even cultits in case you Return to the Tomb of Horrors.
Over here we have a game called Greyhawk Wars and this is a replica of the Sword of Kas.
Look around you'll find all of the treasures of Greyhawk right here in the gift shop. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
"I say, these elves are rather polite!" I smile at Eileen. "And just think of it! An Acereak Demi-lich skull and Mordenkainen action figure! Where else could you possibly get those?"
"I say there," addressing the elves. "What about those rings of power? Any crystal balls?"
The elves with their bows half-way pulled back complete their draw awaiting for Ragr or Mystic Scholar to make one bad move.
Stop
Is this really worth fighting over, honestly, its a Mordenkainen action figure, what differance does it make where it was made. Ragr, you don't even have children (that I know of) why do you even want the darn thing?
This is a time for strangers to set down their weapons and negotiate peace. This is not the time for bloodshed, tears, and and an outcry of injustice. Truly people, we are all above this sort of behavior.
Don't make me use a pink and purple umbrella for such a small trite as this! _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
Okay, okay let's talk peace (BORING), but I want it placed on record that I object to this tat which was clearly made by disadvantaged children in some Ulli cesspit, some of whom may well be related to our exalted mort, being sold in this feeble excuse for a gift shop. I mean, they don't even stock any amusingly packaged fudge.
Once all this peace, love and happiness shinola has passed is there any chance of me being able to rip someone open with a well placed +2d6 backstab. Or opening up some dastardly well protected chest (the wooden type, you smutty ne'r do wells) with a serious d100 under 57%; yes, that's right you smug "what's the DC" types, I'm still 1e and lovin'it. Don't get me started.........oh! I already have.
Prophet!!!!!!!! Talk your damn peace and let's go kick some critter behind; I'm on holiday soon and ain't got time to waste.
Is everyone back from vacation? Are we going to the next room or do we have more shopping to do. I hear you can get a book called Mordenkanen's Magnificent Emporium here, half-price. _________________ Eileen of Greyhawk, Prophet of Istus, Messenger of the Gods
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......point me in the direction of death and plunder.
